Un sofa avec un motif en pied-de-poule.

Un sofa avec un motif en pied-de-poule.

uh so-FAH aa-veck uh mo-tee fah peeYAYD pool. Click below to hear this.

A sofa with a houndstooth check design.

A frightening thought, if you ask me. I’m afraid it would give me migraines, or make my head swim. Just in case you didn’t know, this is what it would look like:

Only bigger. Way, way bigger. It would take over the room. It would keep you awake when you wanted to take a nap. It would cause dissension and strife between you and your partner when you tried to sit on it.

And in case you think I made it up, I saw a photo of such a sofa on the internet. I will spare you the sight.

While you are contemplating the prospect of this sofa, consider this other fact: Houndstooth is not a randomly-chosen name. The checkered fabric is named after the sharp, pointy things in your dog’s mouth, the ones that she thinks about sinking into your flesh while you are asleep. Pied-de-poule isn’t random either. That means chicken foot. And why do you think they call bad handwriting “chicken scratching”?

Sorry, this is just not where I want to sit. I’ll be moving right over here, in the next room. Or maybe next door, so I don’t have to look at this design catastrophe. Or think about sharp, pointy things, no matter what animal they belong to.

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